My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
