what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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