the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize