I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
