Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
So vagazzling was a success
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