remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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