Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
This toilet bowl is my home.
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