What did we do last night that was yellow?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
