She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
how does that bad decision feel?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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