We're facebook friends in real life
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
