Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
