Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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