Do you still have your period?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
