Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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