does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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