If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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