i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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