whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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