Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
