I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
