I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
