Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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