Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize