how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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