she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
