Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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