one might say we're banned from that church
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
