I would go down on you faster than GM stock
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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