Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Even my vagina gasped.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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