I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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