dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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