I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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