No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
