I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
