I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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