We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize
