is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
