And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Randomize
