Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize