she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize