No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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