When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
