guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
