yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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