Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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