WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
you never un-have a 4some
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
