My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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