He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
