I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
