it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Randomize
