she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
