i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
My feet surprised me
I love you.
Bad choice
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
