i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
