i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
