why didn't you poke me back
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
