I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
