i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
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