maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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