Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
