i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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