alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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