Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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