you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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