i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
The best revenge is premature balding
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
