I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize
