Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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