I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
