also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
