What did we do last night that was yellow?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
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