; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
